Traditional marriage, as an institution, has long been a coping mechanism for humans to deal with the uncertainties and challenges of life. It provided a sense of stability, security, and belonging, which were essential for survival in earlier times. Marriage offered a framework for sharing resources, raising children, and supporting each other through difficult times. It was also often tied to social and economic structures, providing a sense of community and protection. In this sense, traditional marriage was a coping mechanism for dealing with the harsh realities of life, providing a sense of safety and stability.

Modern individuality, on the other hand, is a more recent coping mechanism that emerged as a response to the constraints and limitations of traditional social structures like marriage. As society became more complex and urbanized, people began to seek more autonomy and freedom to pursue their own goals and desires. Modern individuality emphasizes personal growth, self-expression, and independence, allowing individuals to cope with the stresses and uncertainties of modern life by creating their own path and identity.

In this context, the clash between traditional marriage and modern individuality can be seen as a conflict between two different coping mechanisms, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. Traditional marriage offers stability and security, but can also be restrictive and limiting. Modern individuality offers freedom and autonomy, but can also be isolating and uncertain.

The clash between the coping mechanisms of traditional marriage and modern individuality can only lead to one survivor – the one who acknowledges and respects the validity of both approaches. The institution of marriage, born out of the need to cope with the harsh realities of our past, must confront the changing landscape of human relationships. Meanwhile, the desire for autonomy and self-expression, a natural response to the constraints of traditional roles, must also be recognized.

In this clash, only one approach can emerge victorious – the one that respects the right of the other to exist and thrive. This means that traditional marriage must adapt to accommodate the needs of modern individuals, and individuality must acknowledge the importance of stable relationships and family structures. When we respect the validity of both coping mechanisms, we create a new, hybrid approach that honors the past while embracing the future.

In this synthesis, we find a new way of living that combines the stability of marriage with the freedom of individuality. This is the only way to ensure the survival of both approaches, and to create a harmonious coexistence that allows each to flourish in its own right.

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Written by Achor Yusuf.